Today my husband and I were driving along, listening to Jack Canfield on audio-book. He always has some great wisdom to impart; specific to his underlying theme at all times is this concept of how everything we do or don’t do has lead up to the life we are now living. We have to take responsibility for all of our choices, and stop blaming outside events or circumstances for the things in our lives we don’t like. I noticed that he didn’t touch on things like catastrophe- hurricanes, or cancer, for example. I don’t suppose he would say we should take responsibility for those things happening to us- but rather, in how we choose to respond to these kinds of life events. Then Jack, or his narrator I suppose, began speaking about our life’s purpose, and finding what we truly love to do. Then we are to focus on that, envision it constantly- want it more than anything- if we hope to achieve it. He talked about a great first step in figuring out what we want, what our life dream truly is, is to start making small choices and preferences- no matter how small they may seem, and not dismissing them as if they are too trivial to matter. I realized that while I love many things in the career/hobby/passion realm, writing and speaking are probably my favorites. I also enjoy championing the rights and causes of the mistreated. If I REALLY wanted to make these things the focus of my life’s work, I should be spending my time and energy making and working toward goals that are aligned with my ‘purpose’. I thought about that a lot today. Later, after getting a Christmas tree for my mom, decorating it, and coming home, I decided to have some Detox tea. I haven’t been feeling too well the past couple of days, and figured the vodka might have been the culprit, or too much nicotine gum. Who knows? At any rate, right on the teabag tag was the answer to life, the universe, and everything. “We are here to love each other, support each other, and lift each other up.” I mean, if you needed a life purpose, could there be one greater? No.
Is it always easy to do this? No. Like our bodies, our minds need a good detox. All the negativity that bombards us daily needs to be counteracted by focusing on what is true, what is right, what is beautiful, and good. A lot of this negativity stems from our own minds. We think and speak ugly things about ourselves and others too often. We assume the worst, we call drivers behaving badly some really foul names…;) You get the idea. And many of us don’t do that to others, because we’ve been taught that it’s wrong, but rather we blast ourselves. Our brains, given enough of that negative self-blather, will start to believe it and expect it. “I never win anything”. “I can never find a good parking place”. ” I always get the shitty assignments at work”. “My boss has it out for me”, “I’m not smart enough to tackle biology- not at my age especially”. This list goes on and on, and the amazing part of it is, we would never think to talk to a friend or loved one that way. Why is it OK to talk to ourselves that way?
Today’s challenge: Treat yourself, both externally and internally, at least as good as you would your elderly mom, your best friend, or your boss. YOU are the one who has to wake up with YOU every morning. Every time you hear a negative thought creep up about yourself, consciously stop it and replace it with something positive. ” Biology might be tough, but it will feel great when I get through this class! I can study very hard, get help from a friend or tutor, and pace myself. This gets me so much closer to my goal of becoming a nurse- I can do this!” I have no desire to be nurse, of course, this is just an example.
So before we can really become great at uplifting others, we need to shut down the slam recordings in our minds about ourselves.
It’s difficult to give support and love to others when we feel, on any level, that we don’t have much to give.
So be good to yourself today, and expect the best!