Probably Won’t be Read.

Hello. I want you to try to understand what it’s like to hear someone you love in misery, and not know what to do to help. I want you to put yourself in the place of a parent, who’s job it is to try to help their child, solve the problem, make everything better. You ache and grieve when  your child, however old, is hurting. You would do anything. Sometimes, it may seem that I am not listening, but I am. If I seem too focused on solutions instead of only sympathy, I apologize.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers, and I have not lived your life. It’s tempting, therefore, to think that I can’t understand, and cannot relate to what you’re going through. But what I feel is an anguished frustration. Love, moved to action- wants to bring healing.  If I could turn back time, and change things for you and smooth out your life, I would. Somehow, though, I don’t think that would solve everything.

If you think I don’t care, then you are not listening with your heart. You hear my words, but you don’t seem to know how I feel. You don’t know how much I worry, how many tears I’ve cried, how I hope against all your negativity and hopelessness, your apathy and pain. I hope to be able to bring you to someone who can help you and address your needs. In the end, though, it is you who has the hardest part to do. You simply have to decide you want things to change.

Don’t think I just jump into decisions about your life without thinking, or make choices for you without considering your thoughts and feelings. I also don’t believe that drugs are the answer- but they could be a great help.  They could make the difference in your life that will allow you to respond to counseling. So, sigh and chalk it all up to snap answers if you like, or that I don’t really care. That might be easier to believe. For whatever reason, maybe it’s easier for you to pretend I don’t care about your situation, than to take responsibility for some of it, and to move forward to get better.

My love for you is endless. Our connection began from the moment of your conception. As I carried you then, I long to carry you now, but there are limits to what I can do.  No matter what you choose to do in life, there are always those who will have something negative to say about it. If those people had any answers, perhaps they should offer them, or else remain quiet.


2 thoughts on “Probably Won’t be Read.

  1. Sounds to me like you are in one of those spots every mother hates, that place where you have to make the choices that make you unpopular for the moment… I hate those times, but to steal a few words that I’ve heard over and over in my life, “this too shall pass” so keep on doing the right thing, and it will come back to you ten fold eventually! 🙂

Don't Keep Your Silence!

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